Quotes, Poems, Etc...

[sayonara]

Curtain Call
---
Am I welcome?
Am I trusted?
Am I loved?
Am I forgiven?

When will I ever stop doubting?
Where am I headed to?
What is left for me to know?
Why did I stop believing?

Melancholic and nostalgic
Oh yes! My memories were
Dull my life was as I grew lethargic

I needed someone
Someone who can prove to me
That I am welcome and trusted
And loved and forgiven

I needed someone
Someone who can play the final drum roll
Someone who can turn off the spotlights
Someone who can be my guest
For my last curtain call

In my last curtain call
When I was welcome
When I was trusted
When I was loved
When I was forgiven

I was hoping
That you were there
In my audience, happy and cheery
But I was wrong

Because at the moment
Before the end roll
You stopped believing
That I can finish the show

Now, I realized, in my last curtain call
That I was not welcome
That I was not trusted
That I was not loved
And that I was not forgiven

I needed someone
Someone in my final moment
Someone in my final curtain call
When I have failed myself and my audience
Because since the beginning...

You were never there.

[caicomonster]

I love my woman.
I love my woman because she excites me.
She excites me like the charge a child gets from an ice cream cone.
She excites me like a youngster who so yearns to be grown.
She excites me.....
Am I too old to sometimes simply lose control?
Because I just want to fall to my knees and plead with her to abuse my soul.
She makes me want to cry, just to see the tears come.
I envision her tongue tasting each drop one by one.
I want her to tie me up and torture me with KISSES
Because this is the first time I want to get as good as I give.
I want to convulse,I want to shudder, I want to scream out her name
And do all the things a man not supposed to do to keep his cool.
She makes me want to get high and meditate
So I can prolong the spiritual and mental state I`m in when I`m in her............PRESENCE.
Pleasantries abound when I imagine worshiping her womb, because in full bloom, she gives me life.
I want her beneath me, I want her behind me
I want to feel her breath in my ear to remind me to inhale her full sensuality.
Because the reality of this bliss is that this role may not be mine forever.
So I do whatever I can do to get through to her and let her know that I am enjoying her time.....IMMENSELY

[sayonara]

Solitude of the Letters

It was silent and it was dark
I was alone walking – frightened, yes
On my path, nothing was there but blindness
And in my head was a voice saying, "fall back!"
Do you know what it is that I lack?

Once, I saw wings, clung on a child's back
Beautiful they were, but they served no purpose
For those marvellous wings are frail, they can't fly
Or can bring an end to the young child's cry
Are you not weaker?

You who did so many things
You who hurt so many people
You who learned so many lessons
You who arranged all the letters
Are you not stronger?

It was silent and it was dark
I was alone living – melancholic, yes
On the crossroads, nothing was there but letters
And they were in their own solitude
As the fog that was covering my feet is blown away

Twice, I saw wings, clung on a child's back
Shining and bright, but for décor, they only were
For those majestic wings are rotten, they can't fly
Neither can make things happen, nor answer questions like "Why?"
Oh yes! You are all things but a fighter

You who forgave those who sinned to you
You who accepted those who betrayed you
You who faced those who mocked you
You who gave the letter that was meant for you
Oh yes! You are all things but a quitter

It is silent and it is dark
I am alone searching – hopeless, nearly
On the place I consider my own, I am void and null
As the letters I wrote haunt me with a question:
Who in the world could I bring happiness
if I can't even be happy myself?

And the letters I wrote, now all gone
Have found their solitude in the midnight sun

[mang juan]

In a world where you can be anything you want, BE YOURSELF.

[superosmdummi]

Here's a love letter of my friend.

I have lived a life where I witnessed how love moves in our lives; it has brought us joy, laughter, trust, loyalty, courage and even bitterness. And to love is something I was really afraid to do an effort for, I wouldn't like to take the risk, but there is something about you, something different, an unexplainable thing. You have been the exception, you made me do the things I wouldn't imagine and think of doing. Your actions, care and simply your existence made me deeply in love and think of the impossible me HAHAHHAH
Through the years, I have smiled to several people for more than a gazillion times and when serendipity took its chance, I saw you---my heart took over and smiled on its own, on that unfeigned date. Finally, time, luck and destiny gave me the opportunity to know you more, and you were like someone whom I have known for years. And it's like magic, the corny and cheesy magic I made fun of. You proved to me that once upon a dream really exists!
I have watched several movies, have listened to music and have heard stories about this feeling. Yes at first I thought it would really be enjoyable but I have never imagined of having or experiencing the real "it". That none of the sweetness and efforts would level to the heartaches it would cause. Some people even thought that I would be the last and the most unlikely to experience love, but I don't care if I'm the last or even undeserving because you were worth the wait and the pain. no pain no gain ha ha ha joke hahah :]] When you came, your being manifested that zing really exists, the butterflies and the bewildered logic, that I can love and be loved back, you were the one my heart has been wholeheartedly and foolhardy thinking of.
I cannot remember if it was the first, second, third or fourth time that I was mesmerized by such beauty but I remember the exact moment that I looked at you, and I realized I was head over heels. I knew you were the one for me, my other half, my soul mate kingkiringkingkingking ahahah.. I might have tons of crushes but you were the only one who gave me a thought about love. It's like gravity! kaboom! You made my life easier and lovelier than I ever dreamt it to be, you changed my perceptions in life that I wouldn't have thought it to be the same again, you awoke every inch and fiber of my body, you melted me inside. you put direction in my life. you're the reason why I strive to be better.
Every time I'm with you, the rest of the world seemed to vanish. I lose track of time, place and even my identity. My heart has always skipped a beat dugudugdugdug. Every time i look into your eyes, its like I'm locked by your glaze. And it's in there where i have found my future---to where I am supposed to be--home. I didn't thought home could compose of a single person alone, but it is only with you where I get the intense feeling of being comfortable and being at ease. Troubles and doubts haven't been worth and easy ever since you came. Your voice, your breathing have been the answers to my problems. Shield, sword, hammer and power can't be compared to your protective and ever loving presence. Every time I feel your touch, your kind embrace, I feel something weird, KV! the breathtaking feeling that makes me nervous, happy and excited all at the same time--a span of time where in seconds seem to be longer. It's like the world, my world, freezes for that short span of time. Happiness hasn't ever been deeper, richer and more realistic. It's you that keeps me going, my energy, my fuel, my oxygen.
More than anything, you taught me the real meaning of the word "miss" and I miss you, I don't care if you miss me but I miss you every minute of everyday hahah because I can't take the emptiness I feel inside whenever you're not around [yuck clingy much ahhahah], not literally around but whenever I know you or we are not okay. With that, you have made me appreciate and like the pronoun "we" hahah. Goodbyes aren't so cold and lonely except with you and the feeling that I'll see you again-that I have you is beyond comparable.
Honestly, I do not know the reason I just randomly get and be happy when I'm with you, even if you're with other people it sill makes me smile, an endless and unconditional smile. And all the time we're together, seems like I discover something new about you to love. I do not care, care bear, if its positive, negative, neutral ekek ahahah :]]. You proved to me that love is blind and I'm definitely not talking about the outside but of the whole because with you, I have found out that when you love someone, you'll love everything about her, the whole her and even the jerkiness hidden inside her.
It is beyond words how one person could make such a big impact in one's life; I didn't know you would easily and greatly affect me. You affected me in a way no one has ever had. Being in love is of the second best, finding and realizing it's with you was the first and indeed the best one.
You had me at my worst and you pulled me to be at my best. And I want you to know that we may not be the best of who we are and happiness wouldn't be a forever guarantee, we may disappoint ourselves, we may not reach infinity, may not talk regularly, may not see each other frequently, may not always be happy or even cry without one of us knowing and all the other not's, but whenever circumstances would come through, in the long run, I would still be here, you can stand by me hahah.
And if a moment comes that we would be on the rocks, I hope we would sincerely think of the reason why we started and held on 'til this time, from the roots of how we came along to the branches and fruits of how we got along. Especially the promise that we'll get through it all. I do not yearn for anything except you being safe and you being with me 'til my last breath.
Most of all, i would like you to keep in mind that knowing you was fate, being your friend was a peerless decision and being in love with you was profoundly beyond my control, the best unconscious and upright feeling that would forever be sealed in my memory.

[PLEASE DO NOT COPY!]

[superosmdummi]

^Letter of Rouviel Cariaga to someone [she still doesn't know. haha]

[superosmdummi]

The Truth About Lies

Pretending to be better
Asking for relief
Why, Oh why?
The world sucks my life away

Filling up the empty glass of wine
Of thoughts... never existing thoughts
Pulling strings of a puppet
The puppeteer controls everything

A masquerade ball for everyone
Only I wear a full mask - all rotten and broken
As strangers saw me wandering
Flying as my head's beyond the clouds

A wonderful life I think of
Yet I cannot comprehend
These three dimensional glasses really work
As my reality fades into fantasy

I never felt this happy
Yet emptiness's swallowing me
I see life, kicking my behind
I am far away yet i'm losing

Pretend, Act, Lie!
And soon I'll find out
Life's cruel intentions, my sanity breaks into pieces
The only truth about lies,
No one cares and you'll die in vain.

[superosmdummi]

Lost Dreams

A sudden cold breeze
A change of direction
A different pace
And of different faces

Holding on feels like trouble
Hurting, weeping, crying
Challenge our limits, pushing way too far
Boundaries set, box left unopen

Chasing a different path
All smooth and easy
We choose not to treck
Nor to blaze a trail

An easy decision to make
Great consequenses lies ahead
To flight instead to fight
Such a scared mouse we flee

We became smaller, sadder
Than ever before
Of craving for something more
More pleasing, more life changing

Decided to let go of the rope
Jump! Instead of Climbing
An easy choice to make
Yet our life long dreams LOST!

[superosmdummi]

When My Life Decided to Fornicate My Ass

I was naïve, innocent. A puppy learning old tricks
I was caged, bound and protected. I was as precious as gold.
NO! YES! NO! The words that I used to hear.
Bliss because of ignorance. How long will I realize?

The stake is high. To lose is disrespectful. To gain also.
Preservation of what's historical. The door of contemporary locked.
Charon's boat's ready to go. To the river of Styx I always bathe.
Knowledge comes with death... and death comes with knowledge.
That's what they said to me. Beware!

A sapling nourished with poison, growing bigger, bigger and bigger.
A tree of hypocrisy, of judgment, of norms
Perception of right and wrong, We are right, and you are wrong.
Always!

A life of puppetry, I was used to this. Now I seek freedom.
I tried to cut the strings. Control got loose. I am tired.
Retied them again with hands of my own. I blaze my own trail.
Hoorah! Hoorah!

A sponge I was reborn, absorbing everything I touch.
My grey matter's hunting for more.
A filter I need to be. Organizing my thoughts
My grey matter's hurting more.

I want to escape, trying to.
I want something more that aren't what they gave.
I am hungry for knowledge beyond earth: Understanding
I want more!

I find myself in an uncharted island. I'm not comfortable.
I have to learn to live the path I choose.
Bliss no more for I see the truth --- the awful naked truth
I was blinded, still am. But now I choose to be.
I was protected, but now I choose to be hurt... to feel pain.

Knowing the unknowable, seeking the unseekable, touching the untouchable
I made a new start. I made a new path. I made a new cross.
That's when life decided to fornicate my ass.
To scarce the knowledge, to make fun of what I am
I need to stand firm, regain my control!

[sayonara]

This is my latest essay, and unbelievably it won the STI Tagisan ng Talino Essay Writing Competition National level. The feels of becoming a national champ is overwhelming. Please do give feedback!
---
Theme: Direction and purpose


Imagine yourself as a chief sailor, battling the forces of nature out on the open ocean. The winds are gusty and the waves are wrathful. The darkness of the night is deep black, as there is no source of illumination except for the jagged strikes of lightning the pierce through the skies. As the captain of your ship, you are supposed to give instructions to your crew. Yes, you are an experienced sailor. You have faced countless cyclones and out-maneuvered several maelstroms. But this, what you are facing right now is possibly the greatest storm you could ever encounter in your lifetime. Your men asked for orders, but you are in chaos. Your heart pounds heavily, and you are worried, for the lives of your crew rest upon your hands. At this very moment, you are imploding. You are out of balance, and all those skills brought by years of mastering your instinct as a sailor vanished because of fear. You tried to get a hold on the steering wheel. But as you desperately seek for a direction, a sign, or a light to follow, the gusty winds and wrathful waves obliterated your ship before you even realized... you're dead.

   I am a sailor. I navigate on the sea of life, and the winds of change aid me on my journey. As a sailor and a navigator, I am expected to have a sense of direction anywhere I go. I am sailing on these unpredictable seas for over twenty years now, although I admit I am to face the greatest storm in my life yet. How did I manage to navigate on these dangerous waters? Like any sailor, I have very clear ideas of what I want. I want to discover my own island, or uncover a hidden treasure for myself to scavenge. My eyes are locked looking what is beyond the horizon, an my hands are tightly gripped on the steering wheel of my ship--always vigilant of impending rocky atolls or stealthy rogue waves. Of course, I am still human. I erred, I made a lot of mistakes, and they almost cost me my life. But they are now scars, and for sailors, scars are marks of strength, pride, and glory. Storms form and fade, and I am proud I survived many.

   What helped me? All sailors, specifically those who traverse perilous and vast oceans, must possess three items for them to survive. First is the compass. Apparently, the compass is a navigator's best friend. Though seasoned sailors are equipped with the proper instinct and sense of direction, they will not last without an instrument that tells them where the sun is. As for me, my compass is the Bible. It helped me cross deep waters. When I was lost, the Bible taught me the right way, and it led me to where the light is. Second is a map. Maps are indeed very helpful, and they show you the bigger picture of the ocean. Knowledge, wisdom, and experience are like maps. They help you produce an image of what lies behind a wall of rock--or literally what is yet to come. Laslty, most sailors record significant details about their voyage. A captain's log book is essential for all would-be men of the sea as it relays the captain's insights about his journey. I am a sailor as well as an essayist, so I want my little ensemble of words and letters to be my log book. I understand it is my purpose to realize people's dreams and translate them into sentences and paragraphs. Hence, I offer my essay to my fellow young sailors who bravely embarked on their own journeys. These precious items are my treasures, and I will protect them with my life.

   How about you? You are also a sailor. In fact, we are all sailors. Obviously, the malevolent forces of nature will try to destroy us. Aboard our ships are the crew--our families, friends, and loved ones. At one point in our lives, we will be in charge. We all know that in a very stormy night, a ship without a captain is extremely dangerous, suicide, even. Are we going to panic? Are we going to implode? Are we going to let fear devour everything and every one important to us? Bring a compass, a map, and log book. In time of storm and fire, fix the eyes at the horizon and never let go of the wheel. Ultimately, there are three types of sailors. There are sailors who go against the winds of change; they end up being lashed away by the force of regret. There are also sailors who turn away from the tides of trial, only to have the wave of despair swallow them whole. And there sailors who always followed the sun and never let go of the wheel; these are the ones who found the grandest treasure and changed the world forever.

[meztizo14]

Mending Wall ni Robert Frost!

[sayonara]

 Are there things much worse than death?

It is said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. The heart is where the soul lies; it is the shelter of our very being. Always, the eyes define what the heart desires. The connection of these two metaphoric organs of our body dictates every fabric of our personality: our needs, our wants, and our dreams. Sever them from the rest of your anatomy and you will live a life worse than death.

                Fancy yourself in front of a mirror, happily prepping about. You look gorgeous in that new dress you bought yesterday from a sale, or perhaps a new coat partnered with the most expensive neck tie you got using your credit card. Of course, you want to add some blush to those already rosy cheeks of yours, or a strong manly fragrance that will definitely turn some heads—or more accurately, noses. You are preparing all the things you will need for a party or a class reunion at some luxurious restaurant. From a stranger's perspective, you look successful. You have everything in the world. You live a happy life. Nothing seems wrong. Seems.

                While looking at yourself in front of the mirror—still donning the same extravagant persona you were in the second paragraph, you suddenly conceive the world in pure, pitch-black darkness. Can you imagine it? All of the light being swallowed by an unfathomable hole of emptiness, with you unfortunately caught in the middle of it. This very feeling—emptiness, that is—poisons the heart and corrupts its essence. It is similar to knowing that you are wearing an expensive outfit but the mirror you look at is not showing you anything, at all.

                Why is that? Because the eyes only see. It does not perceive reality. That is the heart's job: to interpret what the eyes observe. This is the actual reason why humanity has sunk to its present pitiful state. We only see what our eyes want to see. We have discarded the fact that the heart is the true source of our desires. It is we who blocked the passage that connects our eyes to our hearts. And this blockage leads to eventual darkness that will soon envelops our soul. Consequently, we will become a living shell: insignificant and invaluable. Morality is depleted to zero.

                Do you want that to happen to you? Of course not. It is always better to wear a simple dress or a cheap tie while looking yourself in front of a working mirror. Likewise, living a simple life filled with value, lesson, and essence is much more ideal than a meteoric status of pride, power, and prestige but with no real meaning. If all men will realize this, everything would be well.

                It is said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. In fact, it is true. But living a life in pitch-black darkness and unfathomable emptiness, even though you have a pair of working eyes and a heart that pumps blood, is a state that I do not wish to be in. Let's say you have it all—fancy suits and dresses, credit cards, and posh parties. From a stranger's perspective, you look successful. You have everything in the world. You live a happy life. Nothing seems wrong.

                Well, seems. Actually, you are living a life much worse than death.

[Lanchie]

Valediction sa Hillcrest by Rolando S. Tinio


Pagkacollect ng Railway Express sa aking things
(Deretso na iyon sa barko while I take the plane.)
Inakyat kong muli ang N-311, at dahil dead of winter,
Nakatopcoat at galoshes akong
Nagright-turn sa N wing ng mahabang dilim
(Tunnel yatang aabot hanggang Tundo.)
Kinapa ko ang switch sa hall.
Sa isang pitik, nagshrink ang imaginary tunnel,
Nagparang ataol.

Or catacomb.
Strangely absolute ang impression
Ng hilera ng mga pintong nagpuprusisyon:
Individual identification, parang mummy cases,
De-nameplate, de-numero, de-hometown address.
Antiseptic ang atmosphere, streamlined yet.
Kung hindi catacomb, at least
E filing cabinet.

Filing, hindi naman deaths, ha.
Remembrances, oo. Yung medyo malapot
Dahil alam mo na, I'm quitting the place
After two and a half years.
After two and a half years,
Di man nagkatiyempong mag-ugat, ika nga,
Siyempre'y nagging attached, parang morning glory'ng
Mahirap mapaknit sa alambreng trellis.

At pagkabukas ko sa kuwarto,
Hubo't hubad na ang mattresses,
Wala nang kutson sa easy chair,
Mga drawer ng bureau'y nakanganga,
Sabay-sabay nag-ooration,
Nagkahiyaan, nabara.

Of course, tuloy ang radiator sa paggaralgal:
Nasa New York na si Bob and the two Allans,
Yung mga quarterbacks across the hall
Pihadong panay ang display sa Des Moines.
Don ang Cosntance aren't coming back at all.
Gusto ko nang magpaalam–
to whom?
The drapes? The washbowl? Sa double-decker
Na pinaikot-ikot naming ni Kandaswamy
To create space, hopeless, talagang impossible.
Of course, tuloy ang radiator sa paglagutok.
(And the stone silence,
nakakaiyak kung sumagot.)

Bueno, let's get it over with.
It's a long walk to the depot.
Tama na ang sophistication-sophistication.

Sa steep incline, pababa sa highway
Where all things level, sabi nga,
There's a flurry, ang gentle-gentle.
Pagwhoosh-whoosh ng paa ko,
The snow melts right under:

Nagtutubig parang asukal,
Humuhulas,
nagsesentimental.

[Flying Ninja]

"Nanggigigil ako sayo!" - siya

"Game!" - ako

[moimoi]

Saigono kissu wa
Tabako no flavor gashita
Nigakute setsunai kaori

Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Anata wa doko ni irun darou'
Dare wo omotte 'run darou'

You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka dare kato mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Imawa mada kanashii love song
Atarashi uta utaeru made

Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugoki dasou to shiteru
Wasuretakunai koto bakari

Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Watashi wa kitto naiteru
Anata wo omotte 'run darou'

Yay yay yeah

You will always be inside my heart
Itsumo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Imawa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made

You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka dare kato mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love
You taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love song yeah
Now & forever ah...